I'm not ready.

In twelve hours, I will be a college graduate. My last final ends at 3:30 and then that's it.

It's 4AM and I can't sleep tonight. I fell asleep for about an hour but the hustle and bustle of dorm life woke me up and I just couldn't get back to sleep.

Looking around my room with so much to pack in the next couple days, I don't know where to begin. Every time I start to box things up, I get distracted by the memories. The rosary I bought at Venice Beach with my old roommate, now my sister and best friend, Jessica. All the field passes for the football games I did the broadcasting for this semester, finally chasing my dream to be Erin Andrews, and realizing it wasn't all it's cracked up to be. The little red "all you need is love" box filled with movie tickets, concert wrist bands, and pictures of the past year I've spent with the most unbelievable boyfriend I could've asked for. The post it notes shaped in a 21 all with inside jokes and silly quotes I have with my roommates that I haven't wanted to take down since I turned 21 three months ago.

It's been a beautiful 2 year run here at CLU. I've grown into the woman I always wanted to be, but knew I couldn't become at Regis. I've found friendships that have turned into family; I've found a love I know will last a life time. I expected to feel empty leaving my home here in little Trinity 15207, but my heart is over flowing with love. I'm not ready for what life has for me, simply because I don't know what is in store next, but I know my time, education, and friendships formed at CLU have prepared me for all is to come. I'm proud to call CLU my Alma Mater and so grateful to have had this opportunity.

I miss you

I think I miss my grandma a little more everyday. . . when I think I can’t miss her anymore, the next day, I do. She was the most remarkable woman I’ve ever met, and now she is the most remarkable angel I could have.

I try to live in her honor for her. I want to live bigger and better for her. I don’t let her passing ruin me. Instead I try to be more like her.

It’s okay to cry. The first year she passed away, I cried every day. I’ve started to accept her loss now, but sometimes driving past her old street on the way to the grocery store or when I put on the beautiful gold bracelet my grandfather gave her on their 32nd anniversary, I just break down. Time to time I wonder if I’ll ever stop crying, but then I remember it’s okay to cry. It’s okay to miss her. But she wouldn’t want me to be upset, she wants me to keep living in honor of her.

Even though she is not here to share the memories, complications, and celebrations with my family, she motivates me. I always feel her protecting me, guiding me, and providing me with strength. She is alongside God, helping him to plan out the rest of my days, step by step, moment by moment. 

I aspire to be the Proverbs 31 woman she was. A beautiful mother, wife, and friend.

Ready Set Roll

Last night I got to go with my boyfriend, brother, sister-in-law, and some of their friends to a Chase Rice & A Thousand Horses concert at The House of Blues in Los Angeles. It was AMAZING.

I had never been to the venue before and I will definitely be going back. The tickets were cheap, the venue was small, but comfortable, and I had a fun time with my friends and family.

I only knew two Chase Rice songs going into the concert, yet I found myself singing along to everything he sang. He played some of his original songs, and also covered a lot of stuff. To have a country singer rapping the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song was priceless. I wanted to get up on stage and join in. (I'm a closet rapper.) He even covered Lil Jon AND Lit. A man of many trades.

Before the show we went to Saddle Ranch Chop House and had dinner and drinks. I decided to step out of my comfort zone and ride the famous bull that they have there. It's been on my bucket list since the first time I went there sophomore year of high school and I finally did it. I only lasted about 30 seconds, but I would definitely do it again, and I recommend it to anyone who has the opportunity to do so.

Check out my favorite song by Chase Rice below & if you get a chance, try to check out a show at the House of Blues. They have a lot of great shows coming up including Mac Miller and Third Eye Blind.


Tis the Season!

The moment we finished Thanksgiving dinner and started doing the dishes, we put on the "Duck the Halls: A Robertson Family Christmas" and began to scheme my brother's winning Christmas light theme. I've already finished most of my shopping and am even heading to the mall later on to get some Black Friday shopping done. . . yes, Christmas is upon us.

Some of my best memories with my family, especially with my now deceased grandmother and grandfathers, are at Christmas time. We've always hosted Christmas at our house, and my brothers and I are beyond spoiled each year. 

Best gift I've ever received: one year my Grandma & Grandpa Dimmitt hand made me a dollhouse that was beyond beautiful. I played with it for as long as I can remember and still have it to give to my own daughters own day.

My brothers & Me admiring the dollhouse

However, the best gift we've all received is the reason for the season. We all get so caught up in our wish lists, baking, and spending time with family, that we forget we're celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Without his birth, we wouldn't have this beautiful celebration each year. Without his grace and salvation, we wouldn't have eternal life. For him, I am the utmost grateful and I pray that each of you take time to remember the reason we celebrate Christmas. . . the birth of Christ.


My Girls

Ah. . . . the highly anticipated Thanksgiving break.
No classes, no work, and no obligations.

And while most of Thanksgiving break is absolute bliss, I can't seem to shake the fact that I have to go five days without my roommates. They're my go-to girls, my best friends, and ultimately, my sisters. They're the ONLY reason I'm dreading graduation. If it weren't for living with these three girls, I'd be ready to go.

It's only been five hours since the last girl left for break, but I'm already feeling sad having to watch The Voice alone. There's no one here to throw stuff at, no here to complain to, and no one here to laugh with until my belly hurts.

Elisa, Jade, Courtney, & Me

To the three girls I couldn't have imagined spending my last few months of college without: I thank you. . . for loving me, supporting me, laughing with me, encouraging me, and guiding me. Thanks for always making sure there is wine in the fridge, letting me have the TV when the Broncos are playing, and for washing my dishes that I will "get to later." Even though three weeks from now we won't be living together anymore, you'll still be my best friends.


So here it goes....

With three weeks until I graduate college, all I find myself doing lately is staring at my ceiling at 3am wondering where I'll be a month from now. I've applied to just about every job I've seen posted online and am ready to give up. . . .

. . . so here I am, doing exactly what I love, but I just can't seem to find a job doing.

My dream job is one that allows me to write about the things I love....sports (Go Broncos!), makeup (new Naked3 is TO DIE FOR), food (already drooling over Thursday's mashed potatoes), and anything else that tickles my fancy.

It's like Eat, Pray, Love, but I'm eating from my couch in California instead of a chic cafe in Naples. . .

But first, a little bit about me:

I'm Cate. Yep, that's right. Cate with a C.
I'm 21 years old & have been enjoying my 21st Amendment right to order a Blue Moon at dinner.
I'm a Communications student at California Lutheran University with an emphasis in journalism.
I have a huge, crazy family who I still can't decide if I should thank or blame for making me the woman I'm becoming.
I'm afraid of the typical stuff. . . clowns, rats, failure, and belly buttons.
I'm obsessed with The Voice. . . I'm watching it as we speak. (Well as I type & you read.)
I'm loud.
I'm stubborn.
I'm anxious.
But most importantly, I can't wait to see what God has next for me in his plans for my life.