I miss you

I think I miss my grandma a little more everyday. . . when I think I can’t miss her anymore, the next day, I do. She was the most remarkable woman I’ve ever met, and now she is the most remarkable angel I could have.

I try to live in her honor for her. I want to live bigger and better for her. I don’t let her passing ruin me. Instead I try to be more like her.

It’s okay to cry. The first year she passed away, I cried every day. I’ve started to accept her loss now, but sometimes driving past her old street on the way to the grocery store or when I put on the beautiful gold bracelet my grandfather gave her on their 32nd anniversary, I just break down. Time to time I wonder if I’ll ever stop crying, but then I remember it’s okay to cry. It’s okay to miss her. But she wouldn’t want me to be upset, she wants me to keep living in honor of her.

Even though she is not here to share the memories, complications, and celebrations with my family, she motivates me. I always feel her protecting me, guiding me, and providing me with strength. She is alongside God, helping him to plan out the rest of my days, step by step, moment by moment. 

I aspire to be the Proverbs 31 woman she was. A beautiful mother, wife, and friend.

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